Today, I thought about why wives/women want to hear some 'feedback' (a.k.a. compliment) or why we directly ask for compliments from husbands/love ones about the dish that they prepared.
Are we deprived of hearing compliments? Do we want to feel appreciated? Do we really want to know how the food taste like? Also, do we want them to tell the truth (about how the food taste like)? Or do we just want to hear some ritual-type of compliment? (Honey, this is great!)
Another thing to think about is, how often do we want them to compliment us on the food we cook? For every meal? Obviously, we do want to hear some sincere compliment, but what is our notion of sincerity? Do they need to exaggerate a bit? Do they need to use a higher tone or pitch? How about their facial expression? What adjectives are appropriate? Great? Awesome? Delicious? How much elaboration do we expect? (Honey, I love the spaghetti! The sauce is soo xxx.)
What do we truly want from husband's compliment? Do we want to form some kind of bonding? Or do we want to feel good? Do we want to improve our cooking? Or do we want to keep tab of what they like and what they don't like?
Also, why do we want to hear the compliment before we ask for it? Why do we get (a bit) upset if they don't give or delay their compliment?
Finally, is this something universal for all cultures? If so, why?? If not, how is it different in other cultures?
These are all great questions! You've mentioned a lot of the different factors that go into giving, receiving, and desiring compliments. There might even be more :-). I would venture to say that human beings universally(?) want to be appreciated and valued. But in my (limited) experience, it seems that different cultures have very different norms of how to express appreciation. Some cultures/sub-cultures seem to be gushy and highly expressive, using superlative compliments, while in other cultures, it is possible that if nothing negative is said, then everything must be good/okay! In addition, there is to be sure great variation even within a culture as to what kinds of compliments are expected, desired, appreciated, and routinely given (or not). Fascinating to think about.
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